


Let Me Explain

by AlmaraKasada



Category: Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-14
Updated: 2016-11-14
Packaged: 2018-08-31 01:42:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8558290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlmaraKasada/pseuds/AlmaraKasada
Summary: She was an elf, her face had elven features, but it was still a face. He had spent so long resenting her kind for the things that they did to him thirty years ago. And he did hate her when she first came. He hated her not only because she was an elf, but because she was the Dragonborn, something that had been, for as long as he could look, the role of men, not mer. He let her join the army because she was the Dragonborn and they’d be doomed if she joined the Legion. In secret, he had sent her out onto the front lines because he hoped she would die. But she kept coming back. And every time she did, he felt the need to give her better armor, better equipment, better weapons. And when he saw her there, fighting alongside the rest of them, there was a second when he thought he could have died for her. A second that he knew the world needed the Dragonborn more than it needed him. If she were to take on his cause, it would be a better, and truer fight. And for a moment, he imagined trying to continue on the battle without her.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> First story. Not sure how it's gonna go. So let's see!

He woke up in a daze. Sunlight danced down on him through the tops of trees. He had been in battle, the last he knew. And he had been slain.  
For a moment, he thought he was dead. He felt arms around him. Someone was holding him, protecting him. He wondered if touch of another person was all the heaven he needed. But the pain he felt in his ribs upon shifting ever so slightly reminded him he was not dead, that this was not a dream, and that he was still alive, perhaps just barely. He began gasping and couldn’t breathe for the pain. The slightest of movements was crushing on his lungs.  
A hand was placed on his chest and began to glow. The pain he felt lessened and he began to breathe normally. He dared not move further.  
It took him a moment to gain the courage to turn his head and look at the person beside him, but he finally did. He was propped up against her in a way that their faces were almost touching. He just now noted the color of her eyes, which was a deep and brilliant blue, only brightened by the sunlight. He thought it strange that he had never noticed it before.  
Her helmet was off, but her hair was still in a braided knot, and her armor was still on. His own bearskin cape provided cushioning between him and her armor.  
He opened his mouth to speak to her, but his throat was hoarse and him mouth was dry. Instead, he coughed, sending another rush of pain from his ribs to the rest of his body. He hadn’t the strength to cry out in agony, but the sharp and harsh breaths he sucked in through his teeth were enough to let anyone know he was in pain. Again, the girl eased his suffering with a magic spell, however, waited for him to settle into a stiller position first.  
His immediate instinct was to grab her hand when she had finished. He clenched his teeth and felt two hot tears stream down his face that he hadn’t noticed he let form. When he caught his breath, he carefully tilted his head back towards her to look into her brilliant blue eyes again.  
“Nari…” he was only able to whisper, “You got me out of there.”  
“Of course,” she replied with a small smile, “Skyrim will need her king.”  
“I wasn’t sure if you would.”  
“When will you learn to trust me, my lord? I’m a Stormcloak, through and through. Just like the rest of your army.”  
“Oh, Nari,” he breathed, unable to add any inflection to let her hear what he really felt for her. He lifted his hand to her cheek, and she rested hers on his torso. “I know you are. You’re too good for us Nords.”  
“I think I’ve grown quite fond of you Nords. When I joined your army, I had already accepted you as our king. And now here I am, saving your life.”  
She smiled and laughed a little. He looked into her eyes again. She was an elf, her face had elven features, but it was still a face. He had spent so long resenting her kind for the things that they did to him thirty years ago. And he did hate her when she first came. He hated her not only because she was an elf, but because she was the Dragonborn, something that had been, for as long as he could look, the role of men, not mer. He let her join the army because she was the Dragonborn and they’d be doomed if she joined the Legion. In secret, he had sent her out onto the front lines because he hoped she would die. But she kept coming back. And every time she did, he felt the need to give her better armor, better equipment, better weapons. And when he saw her there, fighting alongside the rest of them, there was a second when he thought he could have died for her. A second that he knew the world needed the Dragonborn more than it needed him. If she were to take on his cause, it would be a better, and truer fight. And for a moment, he imagined trying to continue on the battle without her.  
“My Jarl?” she said, “You took that sword through your chest even though it was meant for me.”  
He hadn’t known she had noticed that. He wasn’t upset, but nor was he glad. “Yes,” he said, “You’re the Dragonborn.”  
“There will be more Dragonborn. You’re what we’re all fighting for. It was stupid.”  
He thought about this as he looked at her. She was expecting a reply, but he had none. It was stupid. There would be another Dragonborn. Heroes die in battle. But they were both alive now and this was the closest he’d ever been to her.  
Without fully realizing what he was doing, his hand placed itself on the back of her head and he pulled her forward to close the few inches between them. He suddenly became aware as he kissed her gently and sweetly, that this is all he had ever wanted. He had never hated her, be had hated that the first woman he fell in love with was an elf. But he didn’t hate her because she was an elf. No. No, he was in love with her, but he had no idea how to be in love. He was not a poet. He was a soldier and a barbarian. That’s all he had ever known how to be.  
Her lips were chapped from the cold that she was not used to, but her skin was soft and warm against the bitter and biting cold. Had he the strength he would have given her everything he could have, but even now as he was trying to embrace her, he felt the agony in his ribs spike up.  
He had to stop and broke their kiss. A look a shock was on her face, but her hands lingered on him, one balled into a fist clenching the shoulder of his sleeve.  
“Nari,” Ulfric coughed through the pain, “By the nine, Nari, I love you. And I have loved you for a long time. It doesn’t matter to me that you’re an elf and I don’t deserve your love or even fondness because I am not a good person. I am not bad person, though. And I’ve loved you every minute since the first.” He paused to cough. “And I’m telling you all this now because…I can feel myself dying…and I wanted you to know…I wanted you know.” His breathing began to slow and his vision began to blur.  
“My…My lord?”  
“Please…”  
“My k-king?”  
“Forgive me…” his eyes slowly closed and he faded.  
“Ulfric?” her heartbeat quickened. “Ulfric!” tears began to stream down her face. She used her healing magic on him, but he stayed limp in her arms. She squirmed out from under him and put her ear to his chest. His heartbeat was faint and slow. His skin was freezing.  
“Well done, my dear.”  
Nari jumped to her feet and drew her sword, pointing it at the Altmer who now stood in front of her.  
“Oh, for the love of the eight, put that away. Is he alive?” Ravil asked.  
“Rav…” she breathed, but didn’t put her sword down.  
“Capturing him alive would probably make Elenwen maybe even crack a smirk. It will be more than enough to get your sister out of prison. You played the part well. I’ll be sure to let her know that.”  
Nari glanced back at Ulfric and began to lower her sword. Memories flashed through her mind.  
Ravil stepped closer. “We’re going to have to hurry, the Nords are at the bottom of the hill looking for you both,” he sighed, “oh, forget it, There’s not enough time. Here, let me take that and I’ll just chop his head off—“  
No sooner did he touch the hilt of her sword that she reeled around with dangerous force and slashed at him, splitting him from groin to throat, allowing his innards to bleed out. The mage was unarmored and unprepared for her betrayal.  
She dropped the sword and began to scream. Within seconds, Stormcloak soldiers were around her.  
\------  
Ulfric awoke in pain again. Although the pain was less than it was, he was somehow more uncomfortable outside of Nari’s arms. When he sat up, he scanned the room for her, but she was nowhere to be found.  
Instead, there was a package tied together with string and left next to his bed. On top of it was a note with his name elegantly scrawled on it. He knew Nari’s handwriting by now. He carefully extended his arm to take the note. The inside of it was not so elegant and neat. It was scribbled in a seemingly frantic way.  
\------  
17 Frostfall, 4E203  
My Jarl and King,  
I’m sorry. I just need to begin with that. I am so sorry for everything. I know what you thought of me. I know you cared about me. And now I know you may even love me. Which makes this so much worse. But I feel as though you need to know everything.  
I have betrayed you. I know how terrible that sounds. I know that that is treason. But I want you to understand why. This is everything I have. This is everything I can give you in this package. Everything I can tell you.  
I cannot tell you how sorry I am. They are telling me that I saved your life, which is the only thing that is keeping me sane. I have written these notes over and over again and I’m going crazy by now. The only truth that I know is that I love you and that I have never loved another person so deeply and truly as I love you. Know that. It is all I can give you to ease the pain I am about to cause.  
It is everything I have to give. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you.  
-Nari Yellengrin  
\------  
The Jarl stared at the package. He suddenly felt cold. It took him a few moments to calm his breaths, but then, he took the package.  
For a moment, he wanted to burn it. And perhaps he should have. But he could not bring himself to destroy something from her. Something she wanted him to know. And so he took it and opened it. Inside were papers that ad clearly been arranged meticulously in a certain order. He picked up the first one, which was sitting on top. Again, it was a letter addressed to him. This time, it was much neater. She had taken care to write it all.  
\------  
16 Frostfall, 4E203  
Ulfric,  
Let me take you back a ways on a journey. I want you to understand everything about me. I have gathered letters, diary entries, and just about anything else I could think to add in here. If I had it, you now do. And if something needs explaining, I have explained it in a note.  
Let’s go back to where our story began.  
Do you remember the day we met?


	2. My Dear Sister

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I recently installed a mod to SSE where it changes the opening sequence a bit (Opening Sequence Overhaul, I believe?). Anyways, it adds in dialogue that was cut from the original and i like it better, so this is more based off of that than the original.

I remember that day well. Maybe too well. It’s been burned into my memory for so many reasons. I suppose the main reason is, well, the dragon. But it was also the first time I saw the man I would accept as my king. Which is really spectacular, if you think about it.  
I used to be a hunter. It wasn’t easy work. I woke up every morning in a tent. And every morning I would wonder if my firewood was dry, if my food had been eaten by an animal, and if my bow would break. Every day this didn’t happen, I thanked the Divines. Nine of them. I never stopped my worship. I know that isn’t what you believed for so long, but it was true. You don’t need to be a Nord to believe in the nine. You just have to be not stupid about these things.  
Hunting is what led me to Skyrim. Accidentally crossing the border and being grabbed by the Legion was shocking. I guess more shocking than I had first imagined as I was knocked out cold for the majority of our trip to Helgen.  
I leave you with a letter I never sent to my sister, which seems to capture that day more perfectly that I could now, two years later.  
\------  
17 Last Seed, 4E201  
My Dear Sister Lina,  
Once I find out where you’re living, you’re going to have one hell of a letter waiting for you, sis.  
You won’t believe the day I’ve had. It was…absolutely astonishing. Well, it started a few days ago, I guess. I crossed the border (illegally, I’m sorry) and got caught up in something, well, stupid. That doesn’t matter, and I’m far too excited to talk about that anyways.  
This morning, I woke up with my hands bound and all of my things gone. I was in a cart with a bunch of Nords who began talking to me.  
“You’re finally awake,” was the first thing I heard. Oh, Lina, you would have been all over this man. The prime example of a Nord man. I know your type, Lina! I wasn’t afraid right then and there. Mostly curious. I can hardly remember the trip into Helgen. Honestly, it all went by so fast.  
The moment I began to panic was we stopped. It wasn’t a simple lock up. We were being executed. Something about a rebellion in Skyrim. Their leader had been sitting right next to me the whole time.  
Facing death was…terrifying. I’d never been so afraid in my life. I was certain that this was going to be where I died. My head chopped off. I deserve a lot of punishment, Lina, but not death.  
And the reason I’m alive now? By the gods, you’re not going to believe it.  
I remember everything so clearly, but it seems like it was many days ago now. They executed one of the Nords before they pushed me up to the block and had me kneel down. I’d never felt so humiliated in my entire life. So much like a beast. I was trembling, I know that. My neck was pushed against a stone that was warm because of the fresh blood that stained it. My hair and my neck soaked in the blood as I watched the headsman prepare to take off my head. I could do nothing but stare. I couldn’t close my eyes. I was frozen, save for the trembling.  
And then, out of nowhere, I hear screams of terror. At first, I thought it was because the reality of the execution was settling in, but then, out of the clouds, a tremendous form flew down from the sky and landed on the tower keep in front of me.  
Lina, I kid you not, it was a dragon. And as fantastical as it sounds, the dragon saved my life.  
The next thing I knew, I was curled up on the ground beside the block with my head still firmly attached to my neck. The rebel from before grabbed me by the back of my shirt yelling something like “Come on, little elf! We’re not going to get another chance!” and stood me up. We both ran for the tower opposite us and got inside in time for them to slam the door shut.  
I don’t know how I wasn’t in tears at that time. I was so scared and I didn’t want to move. I was great with a bow and arrow, but this was entirely different. When you piss off an elk, it doesn’t take flight and start making fire rain from the sky.  
I didn’t want to move and sank to the floor almost immediately upon entering. But I wasn’t given a break. The rebel leader Ulfric lifted me to my feet and gave me a hearty shove towards the stairs. The rebel grabbed me and pulled me along, trying to convince me that this was somehow safer than the cover of the keep.  
As we reached the top, the dragon headbutted through the wall of the keep and proceeded to breathe fire into it. The rebel pushed me against the wall with all his might (which, I’m just going to mention he absolutely did not have to do because he a frickin’ Nord and I’m just a wood elf). I could feel the flames lick my face.  
For some reason, instead of curling up into a ball and giving up, this Nord determined that it would be best to continue up the tower and have me jump across to the inn. Well, I was more pushed across to the inn (which was on fire, I should mention) and from there, I was on my own. Still with my hands bound, mind you.  
I don’t know where I got the willpower, but I was up on my feet and running for dear life in a moment. Outside the inn, a boy was in the middle of the road. His father was a bloody mess in front of him and pleaded with him to run. One of the Legion soldiers was calling for the boy to get to safety. My one thought was that if I was unbound I would absolutely not have run to grab the boy. There was a freaking dragon killing everyone with fire. Fire, Lina! Since I know you’d be worried if I didn’t mention this, the boy got up and was fine (well, last I saw). His father was fried.  
Now, as much as I was ready to curl up and accept my fate, wouldn’t you know that soldier saw me and decided that I looked like I could use some protection. And what did we do? Stay there? Wait for help? Hide in the inn? Try none of the above. Instead, we ran towards where the dragon was burning down the entire city. And then we came to the keep. At this point, the rebel from before and the soldier who was now dragging me along stopped to have a little chat. I believe this was when I finally spoke, yelling something like “Is this really the time for this?”  
I followed the rebel into the keep. I had to follow someone because, did I mention, MY HANDS WERE STILL BOUND! When we entered the keep, all that we found was Ulfric and a dead rebel.  
“Ralof!” Ulfric exclaimed, “Is it really just you two?”  
“I’m afraid so, Jarl Ulfric,” the rebel replied.  
“Damn. This is…”  
“Fucked up?” I interjected (you know how I get when I’m terrified, “Well, at least you two can do all this with two fucking hands!”  
“Ralof, unbind her. And you, elf, find something that can be used as a weapon,” Ulfric said. Asshole.  
“You can take Gunjar’s gear. He won’t be needing it anymore,” Ralof added as he cut my binds, motioning to the dead rebel.  
I know what you’re thinking now, Lina. And you can be damn sure I stripped a dead body and then ripped my clothes off in front of two Nord men. I was ready to get out of there at this point. The tower kept violently shaking. I was convinced that the dragon was going to kill us all at this point. And the fact that I accepted that gave me the energy to keep moving.  
We fought our way out. But we lost Ulfric along the way. The moment I first felt afraid was when we lost him. He was right behind me. And then there was this terrible crashing. I was pushed forward and landed, well, not exactly gracefully on my face. When I jumped up and turned around. There was a wall of rubble. Through a small hole, I could see Ulfric stand up and dust himself off.  
“Keep going!” he yelled at us. And we did. And we got out. I don’t know what happened to the others. But Ralof and I are alive. And I’m currently sitting in his sister’s house writing this to you.  
I hope to see you soon, my sweet sister! I miss you so much. And I’ll be sure to keep you updated in this entire story!  
With all my love,  
-Nari


End file.
